School.

Sigh, I'm at the lab now. Haven't been blogging latetly and I'm getting 'complained' by my dearest girl, Liping. So here's a short one. School timetable sucks. I didn't get into my desired CDS and I'm still emo. Lol. Stable though. I want to do arts that badly but TP decided that I should learn how to psycho people. Yes, psychology. Bahhhh. Well, not that bad.. Beats studying uhhhhmm, water tech? Lol. OSMOSIS!!! PEEEEEPEEEEE. Okie. Side-tracked. Back to school. Yuuuup, waiting for Su and Lix to end their lessons. Damn crap luh, was seperated from my clique. And not fair 'cause I'm going SOLO! :( Sighhh. Nevermind, shall struggle hard for this year. Hmmmmmmm... Shall update more on what happened during the hols next time when I have the pictures; SL camp, Pisang chalet and other random outings. LOL. OKIE I BLOGGED LIKE AFTER WHAT SEEMED LIKE 23537892378923 days. Happy now darlings? :) Okie, got to run! Having my first psycho tut in like 1 hours time. BAHH. Love.

I don't like you, I missed you.

Missing.

Now I know where my emoism and emotional crisis comes from. Mom. All inherited by my dearest mummy. Yup. We cry easily, though she's worse and can cry over sad korean drama shows. I don't. I cry whenever I'm angry or like really depressed. We are also both very emo at times, we have the same thoughts like when we feel that no one cares for us. Hahaha, she truely is my mother. Speaking of mother, Mother's Day is around the corner! Keep in mind(: Go make your Mummy happy!

I've been trying so hard to survive out there, slogging away the last month of my holidays. Being in an environment so unfriendly and unfamiliar is really a bitch. Like fuck the world and all the damn fucking imbeciles. Brainless mofos!! Having to put up with their shit?! WTF MAN. I'd rather kill myself! Seriously, I'll fucking smash shit on your FUCK FACE one day! Damn it! Oosh is a fucking place to work at, filled with a fucking management and fucking people! THEY CAN ALL JOLLY WELL GO FUGGGGGG THEMSELVES. Sigh... Working there is no different from being tortured. I think you've to be charismatic and have the X-factor to stand out and really save and defend yourself when yo get yourself in trouble or deep shit. Hmmm... If not you can jolly well go and die like me. Lol, just kidding. Still grateful to the colleagues who bothers to teach and care. The only precious gems of that fucking dirt trap. You imbeciles are lucky to have them! And you treat them like SLAVES! TSK! The management are seriously unworthy of. Fuck! Go jump down your fucking rooftop or bridge and just die. Get it? DIE, you fucking dickheads!

Hahahaha. I swear I haven't been so vulgar for so long, can you believe it? I even scolded CB like a gazillion times? Eee... So indecent and unlikely of me??? HEHEHEHE. But sorry, they really make me wna hurl profanities. Sigh. Anyway, enough of ranting, I'm disgusting myself. HAHA.. Whatever. Still considering whether to continue working after hearing those disturbing things the boss and sups did from Pris. /: SIGH!!! MONEY! ): ARG...! Talking about Oosh ANNOYS me. S: But I have to destress before I slit my wrists. LOL. Nonsense. Nonsense. Nonsense. I think that's about it, luh. Have got to go! Ohhh it's going to be a longgg day tom. Kumon, lunch, (concert?), Corvus' dinner and PISANGS' CHALET! (: Sighhh.. I'm tired..... And meaningless. Disappearing for a long while.

Sigh. Rain.. And again. How disturbing.
Everyday's like every other days, I'm fine without you.
The one I loved the most? Hmmm..
I'm holding on by letting go of you.

No one else will have me, only you.

Random. I'm just bored now.. Singing along to Jimmy Eat World. Hmm hmm hmm. "I won't always love what I'll never have.. I won't always live in my regrets.. You'll sit alone forever.. If you wait for the right time, what are you hoping for??"

Hmmmmm.... Time's kind of passing real slow now. Yes damn it I'm freaking bored!! 45mins to preparation and off to work! KIDS(: HAHAHA. One word, paedophile. NOT. Lol. Okay, I'm insane now, which is absolutely normal. Don't mind this woman here..

Think my blog is dead. Sighhhhh... Anyone there? Time, hurry on! :S I'm talking to myself and I'm seriously out of my mind. I digress.

Okay shall post the lyrics of one of my favourite emo-shitty song.

Jimmy Eat World - 23
I felt for sure last night
That once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live...
Not stopping...

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine...

I know I've made mistakes.

I've always been afraid.

Another day. No work for today. Just looking forward for dinner tonight with my family. Long time since we had a meal together. Hmmmmm, I missed Jayjay. ): Somehow. He booked in last night, and he's only coming back 5 days later. Sigh, back to the old routine 3 weeks ago. And time now to get use to his absence again.. No more, "GIRL! ...." or "LENE AHHHH! ...." This is boring and dreadinggggg... ):

Friends around me are facing so much problems lately, sometimes I don't know how I can help them. Well, the best remedy: 'The Listening Ear'. Yeah, be still and listen. Or another one when things get extreme: 'Yes, you can use my shoulder.' Hahaha... Sorry, personal jokes to entertain myself. : S Hey you people out there having affairs with the heart, don't fret, 'cause I'm all ears. (: Come on! Be well, love!

Hmmmm.. Being cooped up at home makes me think back a lot more. Histories and pasts that I forbid from repeating... Or not..? All these thoughts locked inside.... How can I put this to a stop? Sigh.. Just when I thought I was getting hectic with life. Hmmmm, oh well, looking forward to work tom, wed, thurs, fri, sat, sun. LOL. GOOD. And seeing the bandits on mon! (: Yeah we don't miss band pratice, we miss the band people! Right (:

"LENE AHHHHHH......" Got nothing better to talk about. Finally changed the skin. I want my damn photoshop back. I can't make skins ): I'M SO BORED! ARG, Migrain attack! I suspect I have some illness in me. I think it's high blood pressure. Oh, a chance to die! Lol, just kidding.. I'm just afraid I'll inherit my dad's disease... Since I've already inherited my mum's myopia.. Sigh. Oh well, life is to live and to die. So ya. Who knows what happens next? I might just faint infront of you. Don't freak out. :/

i rmb when you came to me that night..

My nose bled just this evening. Think I'm too damn sleep deprived my nose? couldn't take it. Bahhhh. Nonsense... Ignore. I had fun at Kumon today : ) The lil kiddies' smiles are just irreplaceable. Definitely more worthy of... : ) hahahaha. Though they can be quite a hassle, a kid's smile is nevertheless one which will brighten up anybody's gloomy days! Agree?

Have been trying to keep myself so busy to forget the unhappy stuff. And I managed. Like real damn quick. Now I have 2 temporary jobs on hand, band is starting and school is reopening. BUSY BUSY BUSY(: Oh mind you Suuu, am no Miss Popular. Am a SORE LOSER. Unlike you.. : p I'm a loner boo huuuu. :*

Anyway. While at home, was really keeping myself so damn preoccupied, I did this:

Hahaha, I like the words only. I don't exactly know what picture I painted. But it's actually emoism. Hahaha, I know like whatever right. LOL, anyway it's a girl? Playing a guitar? LOL. I think the nicest thing about the picture is the heart. Heh.. Anyone would like to pay me to paint fonts? HAHAHAHA. :x Okay, shall take back my words. Anyway this pair of shoes was meant for working. Thought it was too plain. Ended up, I kind of desstroooyyedd.... it.. : ( Ahhhhh. Heck the picture.

Yaynessss, another day at Kumon tom. : ) Heart heart kids. Wna see Alycia, Constance, Qiqi, Tammy and many moreee.. : D HAHA I REMEMBERED THEIR NAMEs. : D I think after under my coaching they might not do very well? I think I'm too linient. That's because I love them! They're so damn stressed alr, why stress them even more? Right. They are actually studying advance levels. Meaning if the kid is p1, she will be doing p2 work. Tsk, poor kids! Jia youuu ooooo! Okay. Gtg to sleep (: TATAS LOVE. SEEHUA I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU. (overexcited.)

SL

Goddamnit. I'm finally back home from SL camp. It's worse than sub comm's camp! I'm so beat and I lost my voice. Hmmmm, camp was fun... to a certain extend. Particular thing that I'm not really happy with is the group? But overall they're alright, just that some of them are kinda overbearing? Ehhh. I don't know, some just can't shut up and listen to others. And are constantly argueing to whom is right. Erm, but nvm, they're nice overall. (: Hmmm, we won.. THE MOST CARING TEAM. -___-" I think they ran out of prizes to give, therefore, yah. I think my group came in last. ........ PISANGS!!! You guys are still the best(: Y!!! Corvus will still definitely be a part of my memory, luh. My group however are cheer idiots. LOL. We can't create cheers for god sake. Whenever they asked us to cheer, we can only look at each other and say, "Huh... HOW???" Hahahaha. Anyway, thanks for the bond and fun. My group has also gotten 'Best FA' and 'Best SL' of the year?! Erm, out of courtesy??? LOL, but I believed Din did a great job taking care of us.. But the Best SL, she's a good leader honestly, but I think the other guy deserves it? LOL. Sorry to say. But I think that's what most of us think. My group is quiet and not outstanding at all? How can they notice us? Erm....... I'm such a bitch and have no rights to comment this. But aiyah, ahahahaha, up to them, luh. The FAs say she shouted so loud for our cheer, and randomly picked her. OOPS. Hahahaha. ANYWAY. Good job Sueh Li(: I think this year's SL are very united! All allied to win together, yeah. I think that's more like it. Yup. I can't believe the Media came down to shoot us. Of all days, they choose to come in the day where we were the most UNGLAMOUROUS. Diao.. Hair all messed up, drenched and yucky! We're going to be on TV!! What the. LOL. Anyhuuuu, Final Clash was not bad though. 4th place for Corvus. My group member, Veni, was interviewed. HAHA. Yeahh. Good Camp! BSC ROCKS MY SMELLY SOCKS(: SL OOOOOEII!!!!~~~~~~


"Empire CORVUS"
"Timoooooo! Timothy is Corvus's LOVE!"

That's all folks. Going to work very very sooooon(: Kumon and the little kiddies! Oh crap, I've got no voice?! HOW? Nvm, shall struggleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. SEEHUA! Remind me about Monday(:

Funny how all my thoughts vanished without a trace.. Well, thank God. Must be obsessed and was in a trance back few weeks ago. HMMM OBVIOUSLY WAS! There're GONE now! And I'm fine. Yipppppeeee.

TATA LOVES.

Linger.

The Cranberries - Linger

If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn, don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everything

I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you

But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger, round
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger

Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong, I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you

But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger, round
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger

But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger, round
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger

You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger, round
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger..

Still praying for a car crash.... )):

Remember.

TP Band did it :) Concert was a success! Hmmm, actually.... what is real success? Hahaha, so long as the concert goes well without problems? Or bluffing our way through the audience :X Ha. I admit, I made countless of mistakes from playing the wrong notes and rhymth to missing my running notes. Bahhh. Just wondering, are the audience really pleased? Hmmm.. No idea, still the concert was a success, eh? :) Well done TP Band and finally congrats to the chosen new main committee. Weijie, Lihong, Mark, Law, Penny, Grace, Kenneth and Rachel! All the best. :)

(Picture heavy.)
Scenes of 30th March:
Before the rehearsal in the afternoon. I joined in to cam-whore with the band people. Heh heh. Benson, Joyce, Qinghui and Me.Randy, Judith and Matthew.I always seem to have the 'odd-one-out' face expression?
Hahaha, well... things got out of hands? We were jumping infront of the stage, running all around, cam-whoring with spastic faces! Lol, was fun(: And somebody captured the most unglamourous side of us. Like, fugly-O! Gosh!! Here's a damn hilarious picture of them. One of the best picture I should say! LOL. Hello unglamourous(: Just look at yourselves people.Benson and Mark.Me, Randy, Judith and Matthew."SAY OOOOH! Ohhhhhhhhhh. *Snapped!!!*"
Right after rehearsal, we had lunch! Salad bar again. Fish fillet with spaghetti! Somehow the fillet had bones. And it got stuck in my throat!!!! It hurts like #@#$^%*%&, ya.. And it still hurts till today )': I rather be drown with potatoes and gravy than having fillet fishy fish bones getting stuck in my throat.. ): After lunch darling Seehua and me sneaked into the guy's dressing room. Well, not sneak, we actually walked in 'guang ming zheng da'-ly. Hahaha, decided to take a picture! Ta dahhhs. (((x
And here's another with her! One of the closest band mate in band! Without her, I think my band life would be boring an sad! 'Cause I trust her and tells her everything! She never fails to be there for me! ALWAYS! Yup, here's a bigggggggg HUG FOR YOU MY DEAR! Y
You are more than just pretty flowers! YOU ARE LOVE! HAHAHA. After lunch was back to the stage for one last rehearsal with the emcees and singers. Tra-la-la. And preperation time was delayed for 1/2 hr. Damn rush man, only had like what 45 mins to do everything, including having dinner. Seehua and me went opp school to get flowers and spray colour onto her hair. Was damn freaking late so had to rush back without her as I needed to bathe and prepare! Oh ya did I mention? We ate dinner along our way opp. school! I swear I almost puked my chicken cuttlet and butter rice. LOL. But it's fun, like one in a lifetime experience?! HAHAHA. So I took 5-10mins to shower. YES, 5-10. 3-5mins to makeup and I was panicking like shit. And last 3mins to wax my hair and GLITTERS!!!! Lol. Shut up luh, what's wrong with glitter! LOL. Ya. So I did everything thing in less than 20mins I was cursing and swearing with the insufficient time to prepare. Like all the profanities keep spilling out of my mouth profusely. Lol! AND Finally... All prep up for the concert! Lol, me and Hanna in our suspenders. LOL. She looks damn adorable!
So yeah, took a few pictures before the concert commences.Yile, Seehua, me and Hanna.I swear I look like a SLUT in this picture. Oh well. Flashbang ):
And gathered the saxies! LOL. MY BELOVED.Siongchee, Nicholas, Eden, Hanna, me, Yani, Olivia and Judith!
Lol, super short here. :S
Ahoy~With Matthew!
I'm not a lesbian, luh. Goddamnit. LOL. I just love to hug the people closest to me! (: Ya Hanna, that's you. LOL.
Yea, Matthew! Feel blessed 'cause you are loved by the Saxophone Family! WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!! Wee just dote you like our lil big baby! Wahahahaha!
The weirdest people you'll ever meet. Us.HAHAHA, Saxophonists all ready for war!
And with our most beloved Flowerrr! You are so loved!
Lol, the last picture taken with Mr. Eden. (: And finally concert commenced around 7.15? Lol, time flies. And Intermission followed shortly at 8 on the dot. Guess who was the first person we saw. JOLENE! Yes, Our big Joljol! Standing right outside the door! LOL! I screamed and threw her a BIG FAT HUG! WE MISSED YOU SOOOOO!!!! Lol and very sweet of her! She showered us with Meji Dark Chocs! Lol.There's Jolene with Hanna, small Joljol and Yani! (: The first person I ran up to is definitely my BESTEST BEST BEST FRIEND! OLIVIA LEE LI TING! Hahaha. She told me it's heartwarming as I went to look for her first (: HAHA. I threw her a hug too and almost choked her. LOL. And then went to find beloved Pisangs! Lol. Threw Kannan a HUG! And they gave me BALLOONS! Hahaha! Thanks sweeties : D Next went to find SU-HANNA OF COURSE! Lol. Yay! Thanks Su, Nad, Liping and Michelle for coming! ((: My eldest brother Jayjay was there tooo(for some reason... BEAMS!)! Threw him a biggggggg hug! HAHA. Thanks Alan korkor for your comments ah. LOL!!! (: Suddenly guess who popped behind me? KELLY DARLING! HAHAH. I barely recognised you! In your contacts! :S HAHAHA. And GIRLFRIEND SIJIN! LOL. And we went to hunt down one last important person. AMELIA CHAN! MY CANDY! CHOCOLATE MISSED YOU! Why were you LATE!!!!! : ( HAHAHA. Sorry couldnt talk much! 'Cause there's just too lil time! BOO! All in all, thanks all of you for coming down to support my band! REALLY GRATEFUL. Soon after the short pathetic 15mins interval, rush back to finish off the 2nd half of the concert. Was in a daze and my lower lips were numb from playing ): Still we made it! Hahaha, many comical scenes happened. Like when the scores Weida brought in, Winnie's flowers being taken away by Tan. Hahaha. Damn hilarious. Finally after the encore piece, it's back to backstage to CELEBRATE!!!!
Look at our chocolate cake!!!! YUMM! Lol. Isn't it sweet? (:

And yeah, party begins! Lol. We yam-seng 3 damn times till I was so freaking beat. Damn it. LOL. And all went to pack up. Seehua popped a Sunflower! OMG! SO SWEET HUH!?!?!?! And I hugged her back till we both dropped to the floor. LOL.
Hahaha, then back at the band room all went bonkers. Boys beginning to tau pok each other. Yadah yadah. Me and Seehua running all over the place like crazy. Lol. Still some pictures taken! (:Matthew and me with our Sunflowers. (:
Here's Benson. He's one guy who never fails to make you laugh and smile!! Yay!
Benson, Mark, me, Hanna and Matthew!
All of us taking a picture with our president, Winnie! Law, Winnie, Hanna, me and Jerome!
And last picture for the dayyyy! CHIPCHIPJEROME! :D LOVELOVE!After all that, we went to karaoake near Huizhen's place. Till like 2am. Mark, Seehua, Law, Huizhen, Rachel, Raphael and Benson. ALL WENT TOTALLY WRONG. LOL. Ya. Good screaming into the mike session(: Ton at some Macdonalds' at Bedok till 5.30AM. And Caught the first few bus home. ZZZZ. WHAT A DAY?! LOL.
Okay, so here's me with Sunnyy(: I know I look freaking gay. AHAHAHHAHA. Thank you Seehua! Owes you big timeee(:

Ayite, so much for 30th. Was a memorable day(:
Thanks Cynthia, TPband and of course all of you who came down!

Oh well, today was my first day at Kumon. Not that bad, I really love the kids! (:
Sijin Girl, Be STRONG! No matter what, I'll still be by your side! Promise! Thanks for being there for me too. Yeah, I'll move on. I hope soooo... (: BYE ALL. Hope you didn't strain your eyes too much!

Something I feared most. D i s t a n c e ...
You don't seem to care for me anymore..
Everything has changed.... ):